A year older; not much wiser

It was my b’day last month and I had gone out of town with my peeps to just chill. Since I had given up alcohol or any other habits I remember the whole time what we did and how it was. Needless to say, it was a sober birthday.

One of a kind in character by itself.

That didn’t stop me from enjoying or feeling older and frail. I never thought I would be someone cribbing about my age. But, the 3 years younger me and this me has huge huge difference!

Now, I am wrinkled and too old to party or drink until morning – even my aura is so tired, it just shows me the finger when I try to be younger! Growing older was never fun, but I must say – I have had pretty good ones and a few bad ones too.

Now, my main concern is, Has death neared? What was the purpose of my life? What’s my legacy? Will I be remembered? Have I outgrown everyone my age? Will I be the first one to die? Do I look really old? Am I still pretty?

And finally, will I ever be able to get a comment from each of you reading? Or am I a giant void in the wind with a weird, huge-ass name for a blog who strings up unwanted words and makes it look like a sentence? 

*Sigh*

Choosing Your Inspiration

Ugh! Is the exasperated version that unfolds to – “Oh shit! This sucks. What do I write for the blog? Why can’t it be easier? Why is life such a bitch! So many things that inspired, like ‘that teacher scraping off his students thingi with a single hammer blow’ or ‘baby that says he doesn’t want to eat animals’ or ‘the lazy ass cat video’ or ‘when I met with an accident’ But why am I blank when I sit to write something. This is crappy.” And I close the doc file and read funny blogs.

Sometimes there is nothing to write and it’s been 3 weeks I posted a blog and it’s high time I just write something! These are the times that transform to a metaphor; where I want to eat something, don’t know what and just go to the fridge and stand there deciding what to devour in the next two minutes to satisfy my soul!

Even though there is a bank of inspiring events, thoughts, people and others nothing is good enough to write. Or maybe I am just lazy to improvise.

BTW……..

In The Stoner's Posse

They are species of a distinctive group who are overwhelmed by the fact of reality and mundane life. They eat, laugh and live without any care as to what ramifications eventuate. I have spent quite some time with these people who are “under the influence” and in some ways – they are inspiring, innovative and intuitive.

That's swag

This posse never has a limit. In fact, they are in a place of Zen where contentment flows through their mind and body like the warm blood in our veins. With smokers, you have to be comfortable having a conversation with others until the bud pinches your lips with heat, punishing you because you took it way too far. Drinkers get cozy with fellows of same wavelength in thoughts or prefer conventional “friends” over unpredictable social environment. Mostly because it takes twice the time of a smoke to enjoy a glass of bourbon.

But, stoner’s philosophy is: “more the merrier.” You need not even join them, they still entertain you. It is a place where it feels like all time stands still and sluggishness is spread in the smoke that is liberated after a drag. They share intimate thoughts and wild dreams without being judged but laughed at so hard, that you can only think it’s because they care too less to judge you; like that wind that blows away everything from dirt to dwellings. Personally, I think it’s a funky smell but who’s to say I’m right!

I observe these people who are professionals in their fields, students with A grades and smartest to the dullest just going through the motion of inhale and exhale of smoke while the smell fills up to the roof leaving no space for fresh air; with it I saw their frustrations sail away in a tide less current spinning it’s way overboard and dissolving in to the cool water and replaced with a view so clear and flow so slow, they can do nothing but feel free and smile at the world of pandemonium.

Love Is In The Air!

Love is in the Air!

I know, we are way past “Valentine’s day” to talk about love that floats through every soul and reaches the masses all in the span of 24 hours. It’s weirdly unjustified. How can you be all brave and claim your love because it’s a day for love? And how the hell is it really possible to feel “special love” on this day and this day only! The thought rattles me. It’s like my dad said, “There is no special day for mother, father, love, sister. Stop this charade you idiots.”

Anyway, coming to my point. Love is in the air actually means: This day, I am on a mission to spread as much love and kindness possible. I recently learnt positive energy, thought and gestures influence your state of mind. And whoever you are reading this, I love you! I wish I could genuinely help you out with your issues, since I cannot do that here’s some sugar.

Have a wonderful god damn blessed day. It’s nice to do random weird things. If you have anything random to do that might classify you as indifferent, as Nike says – just do it!

Blissful Art of Seriously NOT Giving a Fuck

Whattt! What did they say? Are you mad at me? Will you ever forgive me? Please don’t be like this. I’ll do anything to make things right! OMG!! Did she just say that to me behind my back? Damn, I thought I could trust you.

People who desperately give fucks!

We have all said that or thought that, haven’t we? We give a fuck to what people think of us, how people receive us. The basic human psychology craves attention like a cub craves for his mother’s love. At least in the cubs’ case, they grow up. We – never – do.

It is very tiring to keep tab on every asshole’s feeling we meet in our life. Some become priority, others you think you don’t care. But if you hear that your aunt’s son’s third cousin’s daughter’s friend commented on your dress in a wedding, you’ll be like – What the fuck! Like she knows to dress, that bra-showing-dressed-in-the-wedding whore. Well, maybe not exactly like that. But exaggeration always makes my point.

So we get all vengeful on their ass (not literally) and we are not satisfied until we give it back to them. After we have finished this vengeful quest, we will be satisfied in the soul. Ahhhhhh! That feeling. Better than when you’re in love. But then again comes another fool we go gangsta on. It’s a bad, freakishly tiring loop of a lifetime. When you’re kid, adult or too old to fart loud.

But then, once you understand – the world is not about you, it’s not revolving because of you (except Rajnikanth) and nobody really gives a second thought to those nasty comments, you’ll reach a blissful state of eternal soul satisfaction.

Seriously not giving a fuck!

You’ll get there slowly and calmly. You find someone commenting, just ignore. Whoever told Ignorance is Bliss is god-damn genius. Words don’t kill you, if you’re strong enough in the head. Unless it’s you who thinks the nasty comments are right.

Believe in yourself and learn the blissful art of not giving a fuck. Shit happens. After all, what can we be but ourselves?

So be like!

PS: Sorry for the “bad words.” In my defense – it needed to be said the way I did.

Have you got no good?

This week I had a light comedy blog written. It was fun and quirky like me. But something changed during the week. The news I read, the bans that is proceeding, the stories that I heard was nothing but devastating. Since I’m not capable enough to start a fund raiser or a protest or even a significant change, I thought it’s better to spread the word to even a few people who read this blog.

I’m not great on sympathy or empathy, but I feel sad and concerned about people I care and sometimes don’t know. I must believe that is human nature, if not, then I will be accepting the world to be mean and pathetic.

Recently I heard a story of a woman. She survives on menial income and shattered dreams. Believe it or not, the woman has over 20 years’ experience in e-commerce. With nothing, not even a meal – she survives right here amongst us. There are also few more amongst us whose stories literally pulls your heart out and stomps it. While researching about sheltered homes I read a few articles on Times of India about why it’s not possible to have more shelters in Bengaluru. We do have 11 of them now, FYI.

"The inmates fight almost every night. Men are inevitably drunk. A week ago, one man threatened his wife he would drop their one-and-a-half-year old child from the first floor. It's annoying to see such incidents," said woman, a resident of Jambu Savari Dinne, JP Nagar 8th Phase.

Somewhere else, she was among many persons who met BBMP officials who visited the night shelter there. "My daughter is studying in Class 10. She's unable to study due to the constant squabbling in the night shelter next to my house. It's a nightmare for us," said another woman.

Yes, that’s why you don’t find as many shelters. Its fine donating their old clothes and giving the occasional 2rs to a beggar on the street in the middle of a signal; but it’s a definite big N-O for a homeless shelter in your locality. I mean, why right? There are not people. They don’t need roof. We just want our kids to study and earn billions where we can all go to other countries and pose for Instagram and FB. Why should homeless people live? We sure think it’s a waste!

All I keep thinking is, I just hope world has as much good as bad.

Part 1

*Light fades*

*Groaning noises faze in and out*

“What is this?” she asked in a low pitched voice. Her heart was pounding through her chest and suddenly she realized what horror she was in.

*silence*

*heart pounding*

*floor creaks*

The small girl in the black dress smiled. It was not the smile you casually express to a stranger; or a warm one when you see a dear one. It was a smile, a dark, dark one.

*Lights out*

*Panting*

*Lights in*

The girl wakes up from the bed and realizes it was a dream. She was sweating profusely and had soiled herself. But she was relaxed; until she saw the small girl in the dress again, with a dark smile.

*shrilled shriek*

It was a scream that could make your bones curl and your heart skip a beat.

*girl faints*

Next morning when she woke up, mother asked, “What happened?”

*confusion*

She couldn't tell anything, to anyone. Of course, how can she tell that she was haunting herself…..

Ok, so this is the Part1 of many many going to be parts of a play that I think I can write, but in reality I know it’s a bad idea!

Try some; it's yum!

So today I would like to pour out my frustration about the age old bicker – “You’re vegetarian? Never ate non-veg? Is eating plants that breathe okay?!”

I am truly sick and frustrated with this question. Mainly because – I am a Brahmin; we are programmed to snarl or make disgusting faces when someone says meat!  Also because, I am a freaking vegetarian. I don’t comment or condemn you eating meat, so STOP asking me to start eating meat. If you want to promote something, maybe world peace or same sex marriage and even raising a vampire army is better than asking me to eat meat.

Here is my answer! I don’t eat meat, because my environment demands me not to; like it or not I grew up within this circle and it is home. Maybe in another environment I would’ve been a meat-eater. However, I also have another answer. I don’t believe in caste system or any kind of differences. But, I think – you are what you are from the Karma you have done in the past. Maybe previous life or this.

I’m sure all of you have heard, the way to get closer to god is to leave all worldly desires. Meat, alcohol, cigarettes, sex, hookah and many more things starting from a shoe, to a table, to a house is restricted to a sadhu – why? Because they are addictive. Brahmins are believed to be born out of less bad karma and more good karmas. Hence, we are restricted to eat meat, drink or smoke – just a way to make us stay away from falling back to the trap of worldly things. BTW, Brahmins is just a name given by us. Don’t go all “discriminating bitch” on me.

Same way – Kshetriyas were born to protect – to protect you need strength and power – so they are allowed to eat meat and indulge in worldly things – because they are here to save the world. Of course, if there is a Kshetriya who lives like a Brahmin – then it is said their next birth would be a better one. So, you get my point, I hope!

This reminds me, In the book Shantaram by Gregory David Roberts, one of the main characters explain Shantaram the difference between good and bad; which I think would fit perfectly to explain this situation.

He says, “Everything we do in this world, which leads to destruction is bad, otherwise is good.” He gives an example saying – Robbery is said to be bad. Not because it’s about integrity and taking away materials that is not yours. Imagine if everyone starts robbing – we will lead the world into destruction. That’s why it’s bad.

Same way – everyone eating meat would lead in extinction of animals, in turn destruction; because we live in a world where even bees, ants and cockroaches are important for human survival.

So next time before asking me why not, ask yourself, “Do I really care?”

Couples be like

Vegans be like

Meat-eaters be like

Skinny vegans be like

Eggs be like

Chicks be like

And i'm like ;)

The 5th Veda

“But the thing that sticks in the mind is that this is an art seemingly grounded in innocence, as if the Hindu and Buddhist traditions at their roots escaped the concept of guilt,” said New York Times during Asian Art Museum named “Essence of India,"in 1986. In other words, “they witnessed a pure form of art.”

Indian form of art is not a subject I know extensively or even faintly. Haying said that, it does not mean I have not experienced it greatly. For most of you like me, Indian forms of art follows a dictum written by Bharata Muni – known as Natyashastra. This is known as the 5^th veda created by Brahma, preached to humans through Bharata Muni.

Though the original content is said to be long gone, the translated versions explains why Natyashastra is the base for all art forms and how it should be performed. Indian art is not just another treat for the eye and mind, but a ritual which should be processed and refined and practiced. Maybe that’s why veteran artists are told to have done sadhana (achievement) and are called Pundits (masters); but it never comes easy.

Like how I have discussed in you complete me! the harmony of 7 chakras with the other half, in performing arts – it’s the harmony of Bhava (emotion), Lasya (Grace), Tala (Rhythm) and Rasa (the essence of the performing art). If you find your balance through these – you can manipulate the art of performing arts and it is said to 

impress God himself.

Express yourself!

 Rasa is mainly divided into 8 different Bhavas such as -

• Srungara – love and ecstasy
• Hasya – laughter
• Raudra – fury
• Bhayanaka - horror
• Karunya – pity
• Santam - tranquility (added in the later years)
• Veera – Bravery
• Adbhuta – Marvel or shocked
• Bhibhatsa – Disgust

Any piece of advice communicated through a visual-aural form has more impact on human mind than any other form. A drama, besides offering entertainment, can also influence and uplift the minds of spectators.

In theatre, the different kinds of acts are differentiated through the medium it is communicated.

• Communicating by speech – Vaachika Abhinaya
• Extraneous representation that uses stage, costume, make up and ornaments - Aaharya Abhinaya
• Representation of temperament of characters displayed in the form off subtle movements – Sattvika Abhinaya, also considered highest quality of Abhinaya
• To represent phenomena like animals, sunrise or trees – Chitrabhinaya
• Communication through body movement – Angika Abhinaya

Navarasa sculptures

“Indian art never relaxes its sense of wonder and thus remains attached to realities both more fundamental and more transcendent is the conclusion in the article,” concluded the review in New York Times.

Finally,

Yatho Hasta thatho Drishti, Yato Drishti thato Manah, Yato Manah thatho Bhaava, Yatho Bhaava thatho Rasa.

Where the hands(hasta) are, go the eyes (drishti);

Where the eyes are, goes the mind (manah); 

Where the mind goes, there is an expression of inner feeling (Bhaava);

And where there is bhava, mood or sentiment, essence of the form (Rasa) is evoked.

Guys, sorry for the long post!

Hope you enjoyed. Thanks for reading.

Here's pun for fun ;)

Where did they all go to die?

Remember them? Small boxes with dial pads that were not virtual images but real buttons, connected to a curly string where you have a receiver on the other end? They were substantial in number 2 decades ago and painted ugly yellow – which you get used to anyway because, after 10 of them in just one street your eyes were like – “Yeah, alright; ugly and bright.”

Yes! *shrieked excitedly* Those nasty looking 1Rs Telephone booths. Where are they? I miss them. Recently I found one near an old, very very old shop in Ganaganagar. I couldn’t suppress my excitement which made the shop owner and the girl using the phone very uncomfortable. Never mind about that!

At one point of time in history, these telephone booths had a box around it the size of a human – as if it needed protection; it connected nations worldwide and just charged us 1Rs-7Rs. Have you seen people back then waiting near these phones for a long time, or asking the owner of the phone to just give out a shout when they get calls? I always wondered – If mobility was not there to our phones, how will we be? I think that would be a better world. At least for me! I won’t have my mom calling 2 min after 8.30pm asking me why I am late! Or people just calling me randomly in the middle of nowhere “to talk.” “Yeah, sure guys. I listen to you talk incessantly for 10 min.” *smirking* The best thing that could happen is, people would man up and meet you face-to-face; talk out issues or fights, whatever that is, instead of a text or calling on the phone! 

Mind you, telephone booth was not a failed technology under any circumstance. It just became obsolete with the popularity of cell phones and internet communication services such as Skype. Recognizing industry trends, many companies changed their business models. *shrugs* But don’t under-estimate the telephones. However ugly, they never failed to show up in every corner and many other places on every street; no one ever complained – “there is not enough telephone booths here.” Our whole nation communicated joy, sorrows and hassles out in public, right with these phones.

I have a feeling they will be back. Maybe not for the purpose it was invented, but for “trend.” Just curious to know – would it be a powder room to retouch make up or a curious artefact in the middle of home space or a camouflage transporter that helps you hide inside and walk so you need not be seen!

What will you use it for? Lemme know.

What If?!

A week ago, I was on my way back home when I shuddered at a thought that had crossed my mind. There, in the middle of an annoying traffic chaos, a thought occurred, which, if real, can demolish the purpose of your life and living.

What if we were just a part of this universe? What if it’s not about humans – our evolution and reproduction? What if we are just another pawn in some game?

Freaky! Especially when I thought for the last 16 years that I am the center of the earth and, “I've got the power!”

I thought she says it better ;)

Anyway, the thing is, what if we were created so that plants can survive or rocks? :-/ Did you ever just stop and think, it’s just not about our survival and maybe by being greedy and selfish, we are destroying the things that are the reason for our living. Are we really that important to the universe? Because we all know universe existed much much before WITHOUT humans and it was all cool!

Who gives us these answers? If these answers come through experience and wisdom; how do we know it’s the right answer?

Maybe, being in The Island movie is a better option than real life At least there, they knew how they came into being and what their purpose of life and living is. Then again, what’s the fun in that?! I don’t want to know that I am some pathetic unimportant pawn in a game; I like that I think I am the center of the universe; because be careful in what you believe. What you believe, is what you get.

You complete me!

I am rarely impressed by entertainment & leisure articles in magazine. Things like – “10 tricks to get slim” or “Life after death” or “Who married whom or what!” or Cryogenics has taken a new turn,” all of this… meh! Sometimes I come across articles I love to read and cherish. Recently, well, not so recently. But it was – Finding soul mates. So I did some research and here’s how it goes.

It is believed, Greek philosophy has its roots deep and oldest in this world. So Plato, a Greek philosopher explains in his book – Symposium, about this soul mate theory. When humans were originally created, we were said to have two faces, 2 pairs of legs, hands, ears, genitals, stomachs. You get the idea right? Just picture this, you and another human stuck together.

Anyway, the story goes on saying, Zeus, father of gods and men, and, ruler of sky and thunder was threatened by the power of a human. He was mortified that humans would take over the gods. So, greedily, he cut us in half – separating us. Once we were separated, we started roaming the earth aimless feeling incomplete and always searching for the other half. And I guess Zeus went on about his business like wars and things and well, still is god from what I know.

We would have looked like this!

It was the thought of a human “uncut” version and the story behind it seemed amusing and even plausible. I started wondering, are my parents really that powerful to take over gods? Or are they not each other’s other half! I dread this thought. What can you do, when you have no way to know the answer? I write. U? Well anyway, the other version – the spiritual version of the soul mate theory, which I came across in my research, is something to know about.

As you know or have heard – every human has seven chakras in the body. Lower being the genital region or base of the spine, which is the base chakra. Working upwards are – Spleen chakra in the lower abdomen, Solar Plexus chakra in the stomach area, Heart chakra at the heart center, Throat chakra (self-explanatory), Third eye chakra in between the eyes and Crown chakra on top of the head.

It is said, when all these 7 chakras are in tune between two beings, you find absolute harmony. When this is achieved, you reach absolute oneness or unio mystica - which means two people functioning as one. Then, you have found your soul mate. I have heard people talk about match made in heaven – well, it’s called Gandhrva Vivaha – a concept that matches are indeed made in heaven and once you find that significant other, it does not matter if you marry or stay apart in this earth world.

The seven chakras

However, it surely does not mean you will need to run around to find this harmony. Because I believe, you on your own will be enough to attain anything you want. You don’t need anyone to support or complete you; but, when you find them, just say – “you complete me.”

A winter tale

“The sun was bright, so bright that it almost blinded one to look at it. It was just another gleeful start to the day. As we cruised on the road, a gust of spine chilling wind hit the face and almost instantly drained the blood from the face. The hands and feet went numb desperately looking to hide under the layers of clothing; the chillness in the wind could make your bones curl up in despair to avoid the piercing wind. All this did not seem to have stopped millions maneuvering through their mundane tasks, cursing the unfriendly winter.

Teeth chattered, mostly praying the wind to die. Traffic moved slowly, everyone were avoiding the notorious weather from getting to them. Let’s not forget, this is the winter that once wiped out an entire civilization and reshaped the face of the earth. Even today, hundreds of inhabitants are victim to this deleterious winter tide. The warmth of the bright glistening sun on the face was outrun by a villainous gale every time. The air current was maybe the cause of many dead spirits on the road, but not mine,” I said when someone asked me, “How was your morning?”

Well, what can I say! It was a cold morning.

I think, I am an old lady!

Last Tuesday, if I remember correctly, my day started with a glass of hot water at 11ish in the morning. I could not sleep all night and slept through the sunrise into the break of noon. I had my breakfast and watched TV all day, all the while thinking, what is happening – shooting across LOC, small kids raped by mentors and belief in God is just a saying. I remember thinking to myself, “in those days” people actually had belief, restrain, strength and little idea about what’s right and what’s wrong. See now. World will come to an end.

Then I began to feel comfy and cozy and slept through the noon until evening. When it was time to get up, because Goddess Lakshmi will come home, also my mom screamed on top of her voice to get up, I drank hot water again with lime and pepper and sat down to watch TV series. Yes!

I think somewhere between 22 and a half and 23 years I grew up. I grew up so fast and so old that I think I am an old lady. I don’t know how it happened. I have become wiser, less crazier, more responsible, too very worried and frustrated and that much sick. Also, I am always so tired, that my tired is tired. Uh-huh. Told you! All the signs right there, that’s me.

You may think, it’s just a lazy day, it will be fine. But I don’t. Also, I am not much into socializing and all that schizzles. I am happy with people I know. I don’t want to know new people and I am for the love of god not pretending to like someone. See, all the traits of “letting it go.” I am questioning my best trait – “to boss around.” I don’t think it’s worth it. I am happy to reach home early – eat and sleep. Sometimes I think, I suppose I could be the new age leader, and then I start wondering – is it really the truest calling of my heart? No..no that would be comfort of my bed.

I read once, inside an older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened. I think it’s reversed with me. Some people will never be old enough to know better, but me, yeah, I think, I am an old lady!

Resolution Up!

Yayyy its 2015! It’s time to start over and good things come and what not. My favorite part is the resolution part of celebrations. Of course the party and the gala. For the sake of this post let us stick to resolutions. Me for one, never done the resolution thing. I see life as - take it as it comes. Mumma says it’s bad, but yeah. Okay. My life.

I have seen people taking up resolution like

1.      Work out every day and help me get thinner is always number one. Or go to gym regularly. What’s with that! Do you have to wait for a new year to do that?

2.      Be happy and successful. Yeah like that’s just like buying a chocolate. Humph. Really? One more stupid thing.

3.      I will make myself happy this year! Why? Who was stopping you last year?!

4.      Give up alcohol. For some, this would start only from the 2 of Jan, because 1^st is all about party and drinking. Yes, ironic.

5.      Quit smoking is just as the same.

6.      Pay off debts or don’t spend too much money is my favourite one! Like seriously? We all know you will make more debt. So cool it.

7.      Do something productive. Whoa, that’s a big one. So what have you been doing all these years?

8.      I have also seen lists like – Give up sex or Get laid. Yes, I have. Too tired or too desperate.

      What I don’t get is, why don’t people make sensible resolutions?  Maybe something like

1.      I will feed a homeless once a month

2.      I will save up for a world tour

3.      I will quit my job and do what I like

4.      I will be nicer to people

5.      I will stop being an annoyingly depending, needy piss off

6.      I will learn about self-control

      I think these would help the world better. What do you say?

Also, Happy New Year guys! J