I think, I am an old lady!

Last Tuesday, if I remember correctly, my day started with a glass of hot water at 11ish in the morning. I could not sleep all night and slept through the sunrise into the break of noon. I had my breakfast and watched TV all day, all the while thinking, what is happening – shooting across LOC, small kids raped by mentors and belief in God is just a saying. I remember thinking to myself, “in those days” people actually had belief, restrain, strength and little idea about what’s right and what’s wrong. See now. World will come to an end.

Then I began to feel comfy and cozy and slept through the noon until evening. When it was time to get up, because Goddess Lakshmi will come home, also my mom screamed on top of her voice to get up, I drank hot water again with lime and pepper and sat down to watch TV series. Yes!

I think somewhere between 22 and a half and 23 years I grew up. I grew up so fast and so old that I think I am an old lady. I don’t know how it happened. I have become wiser, less crazier, more responsible, too very worried and frustrated and that much sick. Also, I am always so tired, that my tired is tired. Uh-huh. Told you! All the signs right there, that’s me.

You may think, it’s just a lazy day, it will be fine. But I don’t. Also, I am not much into socializing and all that schizzles. I am happy with people I know. I don’t want to know new people and I am for the love of god not pretending to like someone. See, all the traits of “letting it go.” I am questioning my best trait – “to boss around.” I don’t think it’s worth it. I am happy to reach home early – eat and sleep. Sometimes I think, I suppose I could be the new age leader, and then I start wondering – is it really the truest calling of my heart? No..no that would be comfort of my bed.

I read once, inside an older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened. I think it’s reversed with me. Some people will never be old enough to know better, but me, yeah, I think, I am an old lady!